Currently society has a very unsatisfactory means of describing sexuality. For example "I'm a straight girl but she is fit" or "I'm bisexual but with a preference for men". It's all terribly qualitative. Here I will attempt to lay down a mathematical method for describing sexuality.
Consider a Cartesian plane, in which the x-axis represents the degree to which one is attracted to members of the opposite gender, and the y-axis the degree to which one is attracted to members of the same gender. Then we can represent ones sexuality as a the vector si+gj where s and g are constants representing the level of attraction to members of the opposite and same sex respectively, and i and j are the horizontal and vertical unit vectors. The angle this vector makes with the horizontal can be given by θ=arctan(g/s). Thus, rather than saying 'I'm bisexual' you can say 'I'm straight inclined at an angle θ to the horizontal'. The reader may decide for themselves whether it is homophobic to measure θ from the 'straight' axis.
The individual values of g and s can be determined experimentally by measuring levels of arousal to members of the two sexes.
Thursday, 3 November 2011
Sunday, 9 October 2011
How the humble leek proves once and for all that there is no God
Leek > noun a plant related to the onion, with flat overlapping leaves forming an elongated cylindrical bulb which together with the leaf bases is eaten as a vegetable. It is used as a Welsh national emblem.
The following is a proof of the non-existence of God based on the existence of the leek:
What is the point of the leek? It tastes a bit like an onion, but it's not as nice. It looks more like a big spring onion, but without that delightful freshness. In fact, I would go so far as to say tat the leek is an entirely pointless vegetable. Now (and this is the clever bit), let us suppose that there is a God. He's omnipotent, He's omniscient, He is the big cheese. He creates all things to have a purpose, you have a purpose, I have a purpose, even that fly that buzzes around you when you're trying to get to sleep has a purpose (in case you didn't know, it's to test you). However the leek does not have a purpose, no matter how hard you look.
'Aha!' I hear you cry, 'You have made a fatal mistake' you say 'you have forgotten leek ad potato soup, you silly ass.' Well, I take your point. Leek and potato soup is a Good Thing, but ask yourselves this: would The Lord, Our God really bat an eyelid just to provide an extra option on the lunch menu? No, of course he wouldn't. Clearly then, if there were a God, there would be no leek. But there is a leek, therefore there is no God. QED.
The following is a proof of the non-existence of God based on the existence of the leek:
What is the point of the leek? It tastes a bit like an onion, but it's not as nice. It looks more like a big spring onion, but without that delightful freshness. In fact, I would go so far as to say tat the leek is an entirely pointless vegetable. Now (and this is the clever bit), let us suppose that there is a God. He's omnipotent, He's omniscient, He is the big cheese. He creates all things to have a purpose, you have a purpose, I have a purpose, even that fly that buzzes around you when you're trying to get to sleep has a purpose (in case you didn't know, it's to test you). However the leek does not have a purpose, no matter how hard you look.
'Aha!' I hear you cry, 'You have made a fatal mistake' you say 'you have forgotten leek ad potato soup, you silly ass.' Well, I take your point. Leek and potato soup is a Good Thing, but ask yourselves this: would The Lord, Our God really bat an eyelid just to provide an extra option on the lunch menu? No, of course he wouldn't. Clearly then, if there were a God, there would be no leek. But there is a leek, therefore there is no God. QED.
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