My relationship with my cats

I have three cats, and I have a very different relationship with all of them. First of all there's Darwin. He is not, I hasten to add, named after Charles Darwin. I first got Darwin when I was three, long before I'd heard of evolution; he is in fact named after a raccoon in a children's book called Detective Arthur. Me and Darwin are really quite close, he'll always sit on my lap, and nibble my finger, and be generally very affectionate.

Now, this is possibly the polar opposite of my relationship with Sooty. He and I rarely do more than pass the time of day, if that. The one frequent sort of contact we have is when he wants to go out. Usually he'll wander up to the door and say bruskly "Open the door, would you." To which I'll reply with a jovial "Right-ho" and he'll dash off without so much as a single word of thanks.

Mr. Tumble is quite a bit more friendly than Sooty, but he is rather indecisive. A typical conversation will go something like this:
[Mr. Tumble wanders over to the door]
Mr. Tumble: I say, would you mind awfully opening the door?
Self: But of course!
[I open the door, and Mr Tumble stands looking out]
Mr. Tumble: Actually, I think I'll just have a little morsel.
Self: Please yourself.
[Mr Tumble wanders over to the bowl, and I close the door]
Mr. Tumble: Look here, there's no food in the bowl.
Self: There is. Why, the bowl is more than half full.
Mr. Tumble: Well, so it is. But it doesn't matter, I think I'll just take a breath of fresh air

The conversation usually ends with Mr. Tumble being forcibly ejected from the house by a rather exasperated me.